Menopause

They actually have a term for male menopause, andropause; if I remember correctly it refers to the decrease of testosterone that apparently begins about 20 minutes after you figure out how to meet women on a regular basis. These are the kinds of things you learn when you google medical terms, something I do about every two or three months. I do this because I have an undiagnosed condition that when I describe it, invariably brings about the response, “ It sounds like you have menopause.”

This reaction doesn’t bother me as much as it sounds like, I’m just trying to beat you to the punch. It is pretty unlikely I have either menopause or andropause, though I sometimes wish I did, because not knowing is incredibly annoying. Incredibly annoying actually describes the totality of my symptoms such as they are.

Basically, every few months I seem to lose control of my ability to regulate temperature. I get hot and cold, I sweat profusely, I feel like I have a fever, I am tremendously fatigued. This is usually brought on by some sort of cold or whatever, and I generally can’t tell where the real bug begins and whatever the hell is wrong with me ends. Basically my metabolism and immune system go completely out of wack and I feel like useless shit. This goes on for several weeks in varying degrees and then slowly disappears. It has been going on every few months for over 2 years, though it used to happen to a lesser extent whenever I got a cold for at least a few years beforehand.

Other than menopause, popular diagnoses include Epstein-barr and chronic fatigue, neither of which really make sense. I have baffled 2 PCPs and an endocrinologist. I plan on seeing a new PCP and maybe an infectious disease guy next week.

I only mention all this because it is keeping me from doing the things I want to do and slowly driving me crazy.

On the plus side, I’ve lost 5 pounds in the last week or so.