You Are Really Stupid And Listen Poorly

Discussing politics with people is pretty much the most pointless exercise that you can engage in these days. There are a lot of really good reasons for this but ultimately one stands out. Most people who give a shit about politics can no longer discuss politics without acting really, really stupid. These people are ruining it for everyone else.

Now, we all know these idiots, and frankly if you live around here, you’re surrounded by them, and they call themselves Democrats or Liberals. I can’t tell you if the people who call themselves Republicans behave the same way, and I don’t care because I don’t have to deal with them.

What kills me about these people is that a lot of what they believe in I believe in too. I wouldn’t fight a war for oil, and I would give every tax dollar I could towards improving public education, general health care, and public transportation.

At the same time I support wars to help the helpless, and I’m a big believer that people should just shut the fuck up and do whatever it takes to accomplish what they want, which ultimately means I get tired of people whining about disadvantage. This as far as I can tell is not good enough for todays politically active Democrat or Liberal

They mean well, but only if you believe exactly what they believe in. Challenge the sacred cows of their simplistic world views, and they get uppity. Don’t say a word about politics and they will say things which imply you believe what they believe, which is just a challenge to say, “Wait a minute…” Either way, they get contemptuous, and they try to change your mind without respect for your opinion. They argue irrationally, and they jump from totem to totem without regard for logic.

The only other people I know that behave like this are Sushi Nazis. If you’re not a big fan of raw fish, you know these people as well. They’re the people that are convinced they can get you into sushi if you go out with them. They say they know exactly what to order so that you’ll enjoy the experience and then they whisper…sake! They have a hard time taking no for an answer whereas any normal person realizes that convincing a person who doesn’t want raw fish they want raw fish is about as extreme a conversion as changing from a Born Again Christian to a Buddhist.

Or changing a Post Y2K Democrat to a Republican.

So, there really is no point in trying to discuss politics with these people, and even worse the fact that they’ve resorted to yelling and crying nonstop, means no other voices in the very wide gap between Rudy Giuliani and Howard Dean’s are being heard. This is nothing new but it is important to remember because there are people in that gap, people just like me, and the fact of the matter is that you’re alienating us and this is not conducive to your overall goals.

So, for the love of God, think about what you’re saying and once in a while stop whining, shut the fuck up, and listen.

Fracking Marathon Training

I want to tell you how I feel about running.

I don’t think I really like running very much. I definitely don’t need or like it as much as I need or like sex or food, two things that people who write about running often say they need or like running as much as.

I want to be clear, there is no way I will ever need or want to run as much as I need or want food and sex.

I run because I have no choice. If I don’t I’m going to get fat because I love to eat. If I get fat…well you can probably figure out where I’m going with that.

I run because if I don’t I will go to jail and I will most likely die. This will happen because without regular exercise I will surely kill someone. If you’re at all worried that this might be you, you shouldn’t be, I would have already told you to fuck off and you most likely will have. As for society at large, the good thing is I already know this, so you too are safe.

I run because I am competitive, not only with others but with myself. I want to beat you in a race and I want to beat me too, the me who ran the race last time.

I run because I love to race, but I had to start running to know this.

And I write this because lately I really hate running, as I am repeatedly getting my ass kicked as I try to prepare for a race I don’t even really want to run. My long runs are just awful tests of my ability to endure painful tedium for hours at a time during, and tedious pain for days afterward. Forget about speed workouts, and for that matter most of other interim runs, I can’t seem to be pain free enough to get through them. I never feel 100% and that wears me down.

And I keep going out there because I want to beat me which is the stupidest thing in the world because it doesn’t even matter. I don’t even like the marathon as a race that much. The really frustrating thing is I don’t expect to come into this race feeling that great, not nearly as good as I felt when I sprained my ankle last year. I’m just not there, and I haven’t been. There’s still time, but I’m not counting on it.

So, I will in all likelihood be kicking my ass through this again next year.

For a month after the marathon, maybe two, I’m not doing any running. It’s a good thing for society at large that I have that gym membership.

I Can Do Most Anything

I have a really annoying defensiveness about me. “No shit”, you say.

I have no problem acknowledging this defensiveness. It’s been a part of me for as long as I can remember, and I have no doubt that it served a useful purpose. It might even still, but I no longer want anything to do with it. This is undoubtedly the kind of thing that takes years of therapy to undo, but I can do most anything, so I’ll do it here. The universe is my creation and anyway, I don’t have the time or money for therapy, and if I did I’m too stingy with both.

I didn’t really care too much until recently about this. I sort of figured that anyone who got to know me would figure out when to ignore my defensiveness, enough people have. Occasionally someone will think I’m being defensive when I’m just being self deprecating, and I have to explain. I have to tell them the truth, and the truth is that you will know if I’m really hurt because that’s when I really say something nasty in return. Most of the time I’m just acting defensive though.

And then recently, I decided this was not good enough.

And then a couple of weeks later, I decided again.

This is what you call negative reinforcement I think.

Nothing really remarkable happened that led me to this realization, I just didn’t like the way I reacted to people in a couple of instances. I was stupid; my assumptions were ridiculously clouded by my own defensiveness. My own flaws were just so apparent, that it would be a shame to not take advantage of this opportunity to change. More importantly, I realized I no longer needed this particular characteristic.

A Bad Night's Sleep

I sort of deserved this I'm told, but I slept awfully last night. At first I kept on waking up because I kept falling into lucid dream states, the kind where you wake up in the dream and can't wake yourself up and you're just terrified. Then I had a couple of regular nightmares and that woke me up. Finally the alarm woke me up after a rock solid 2 hour stretch of sleep.

I'm not sure if if was the ice cream I had a few hours before I went to bed, junk in my body from my long run yesterday, or just some sort of pre-911 angst, but once I turned on NY1 this morning and realized I had to head into Manhattan at 8:30, I was filled with plenty of the latter and surprisingly a little bit of fear. Anyway.